


for all the things that you're alive to feel

by stefonzolesky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M, gob comes out to his family, title from hate to see your heart break by paramore, tony clears a few things up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:16:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: “Then what’s your point?” George still doesn’t look up, absently picking the dirt from under his nails. Maybe that’s where Gob’s clinginess comes from. His dad seems to be very… passive. Passive and cold.





	for all the things that you're alive to feel

For all his obliviousness in situations like this, Tony realizes pretty quickly that his boyfriend hasn’t had much of a childhood. Maybe meeting his family so soon wasn’t their best idea yet. 

Lucille glares at him over her drink, and Lindsay watches him like he’s a prize to obtain, and the kids seem thoroughly disinterested. Gob looks… ashamed. He cowers back from his family like he’s terrified of them.

“So, he turned you gay?” Lucille finally asks.

Gob spares a glance at Tony, then back to his mother. “No. I mean, a little bit, but no. I’m not… It didn’t…” He takes a panicked breath. Tony takes this opportunity to step in.

“Mrs Bluth,” He starts, beginning to get a taste of Gob’s nerves. “I didn’t ‘turn your son gay,’ or anything. I just…” He looks from Lucille to Gob and back to Lucille. “I didn’t even know he didn’t have any idea he wasn’t straight when we first went out. I was in it for the money.”

“So this is some scheme?” George picks at a scab on his wrist, not bothering to look up. “Because I have news for you. We don’t have any money.”

“What? No.” Tony grows defensive. “I wasn’t trying to get money from your company, or anything. I’m talking about Gob’s ex-boyfriend.”

Lindsay raises an eyebrow, looking over at Gob. “Ex-boyfriend?”

Gob laughs haltingly. “I never… had… an ex-boyfriend, I haven’t…” He swallows his words.

“Yeah,” Tony reminds him. He bumps his shoulder against Gob’s. “You fought with him on that night we went on our first date.”

Gob blinks once. Twice. “Right. I forgot about that. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He was… that was… that was Michael’s son.” He glances away. “I was kinda using him.”

Lindsay laughs into her drink. “For what?”

“Nothing. No reason.” Gob’s leg starts to bounce. “Listen, that’s not important.”

Tony presses his lips into a thin line and hesitates before he grabs Gob’s hand in an attempt to keep him steady. He’s brimming with questions, but he can’t bring himself to ask any of them. Not right now.

“Then what’s your point?” George still doesn’t look up, absently picking the dirt from under his nails. Maybe that’s where Gob’s clinginess comes from. His dad seems to be very… passive. Passive and cold.

Gob sighs. “Look, okay, Tony and I might have gotten together because of some… Byzantine plan. On both of our parts. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t… that I don’t…” He pauses, like he needs to catch up with himself. Tony takes this opportunity to interrupt.

“Byzantine?” He raises an eyebrow.

Gob looks caught off guard. “Yeah, it means, like, really complicated. It’s also that really old thing.”

Michael finally speaks up, having been uncharacteristically silent the entire time, especially during the conversation about his son (at least, from what Tony has heard about him.) “The Byzantine Empire.”

“Yeah, but -- this isn’t my point at all,” Gob says. “Just let me use big words in peace.” He pauses. “As I was saying…”

“Yeah, right, sorry,” Tony tells him. “Continue.” He hesitates and then croons, “I love you” in a sing-songy way, a weak attempt to help Gob calm down.

Gob looks at his feet and mumbles almost incomprehensibly. “I love you too…”

Lindsay sighs, exasperated. “Can we get on with this already? I have better things to do.”

“No you don’t” Lucille scoffs, and it’s the first thing she’s said since asking if Tony turned Gob gay. Tony is growing less and less fond of Gob’s family by the second. They may mean a lot to Gob, but they’re the reason for all of his insecurities, and Tony can’t help but resent them for that.

Gob rubs at his temples. “Shut  _ up, _ you guys, this is important to me.”

Lucille rolls her eyes.

“I just… You know, I didn’t even know I was gay, but I just… I don’t know what I want to say here. It’s just that… Tony means a lot to me, so I don’t-- I don’t care what you guys think.”

“Like anyone would believe that.” Lindsay laughs. “We all know that you’re always gonna care what we think. That’s how Dad gets you to do things for him all the time.”

Gob thinks for a second, like he’s just now realizing that his family is manipulating him, and then sighs. “I don’t need you guys anymore.”

“Good,” Lucille says. “We don’t need you either.”

Gob nods, and he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Alright.” His voice breaks. “I guess I’ll go, then.” He stands up and gestures for Tony to follow him to the door.

 

They stay quiet for most of the ride home, until Tony opens his mouth to speak, but Gob beats him to it.

“I try my hardest, you know?” His voice is shaking and his knuckles are white against the steering wheel. “To be the perfect son, or brother, or whatever. And they’re never proud of me, no matter what I do. And they never will be.”

Tony places his hand on Gob’s thigh, his head spinning as he tries to figure out how to help. “You said that you don’t need them,” is what he lands on. “And if they don’t need you, that’s their problem. They’re missing out.”

Gob shrugs, but he visibly relaxes. The rest of the drive is quiet, but not the uncomfortable kind that Tony hates so much. For some reason, he’s entirely content to just sit in silence, and that’s  _ weird _ and it’s  _ not normal _ but he’s completely okay with it, which freaks him out even more.

 

Once they get back to Tony’s house, Gob being uncharacteristically quiet, Tony decides to pry a little bit.

“What were you using your nephew for?” He keeps his voice soft, just to make sure that he doesn’t spook Gob.

“My brother wouldn't pretend to be my boyfriend,” Gob admits. “So I got his son to do it. I wanted you fully convinced I was gay.”

“Oh.” Tony pauses. “So your nephew is the one who started FakeBlock?”

“Yeah,” Gob confirms. “Why does it matter?”

“It doesn't,” Tony says. His mind is racing, and he has to remind himself of that. It doesn’t matter. His train of thought is interrupted by Gob’s phone ringing.

He hesitates before he answers it, like he’s scared, but he answers it in the end. “Hello?”

Tony tries to listen in best he can, but really all he can register is Gob’s end of the conversation and Michael’s voice, faint on the other line. After a few minutes, Gob hangs up, and he’s smiling ear to ear and his cheeks are bright red.

“Was that Michael?” Tony asks after a second. Gob nods. “What did he say?”

Gob laughs, a little choked up, and shoves his phone roughly in his pocket. “He said he’s proud of me.”

“That’s good, right?” Tony questions, sitting down on a stool in his kitchen. “That he’s proud of you?”

“He’s never been proud of me.” Gob bites down hard on his lip. “He’s never… In his forty-two years of being alive, he’s never been proud of me until now.”

Tony’s eyes soften. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Gob promises. He looks… confused, or something. “I’m fine. Just… it’s weird. Everyone else in my family hates me. I made them all hate me more than they already did, and he’s proud of me for that.”

“Maybe he’s proud of you for coming out,” Tony reasons. Gob shakes his head.

“That’s not what he said.” He laughs weakly. “He said he’s proud of me for walking out on them. He says it’s the strong thing to do, that’s why he does it. He always ends up back there.” He pauses. Wipes his eyes. “I don’t want to end up like he did.”

Tony can’t help but be confused. “What, are you saying that you want to go back?”

“No.” Gob laughs, and his smile is wet. “I  _ don’t _ want to go back. I’m never going back.”

Tony grabs Gob’s hand and gives it a light squeeze. “Whatever you want to do, Gobie. That’s alright.”

Gob hesitates for a second. “Don’t say that. I’ll… I make bad decisions. I need you to tell me what to do.”

Tony is… shocked by this, to put it lightly. Gob  _ wants _ to be told what to do. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Everyone always tells me what to do,” Gob explains. “Last time I didn’t have a real plan…” He shudders. “I ended up in a Mexican hospital, that’s what happened.”

Tony grimaces. “Maybe it’s… maybe you should learn how to decide things for yourself. That’s how your family gets you to do things for them, right? Because you want to be told what to do?”

“Because I want to impress them,” Gob corrects, then he shrinks back. “And that too, I guess.” He sighs. “I don’t know. This sucks.”

“You don’t have to stop relying on them completely,” Tony says. “You should just… think for yourself. Thinking for yourself landed you with me, so I’m pretty fond of that.”

Gob hesitates. “Me too,” He says decidedly. His mouth twitches at the corners, and it makes Tony’s chest loosen up. “Me too.


End file.
